September 16th, 2005

Week one has come and gone. As usual, there were plenty of surprises. Kerry Collins was the top scoring offensive player. Daunte Culpepper and Brett Favre cost their fantasy teams dearly by scoring negative points. Willie Parker, Cadillac Williams, and Larry Johnson were the standout running backs. Ancient Jimmy Smith racked up 20 fantasy points. Week two is upon us. It’s time to prove the opener was no fluke or to start a rally.

Game of the Week

$h!t Kickers (1-0) at Bushwood (1-0)
Series: Tied 2-2

Despite winning all of their openers (5-0), the Kickers have never started 2-0. This season’s squad may give owner LaBarre his best shot at doing just that. Kerry Collins was the top offensive player in week one in terms of fantasy points. Six players scored in double figures a week ago. The Kickers figure to play the same lineup as in week one and reportedly are at full health.

Bushwood is coming off their first ever win in an opener but are red hot, winning five straight games overall going back to last season. A return to form by Deuce McAllister helped spur a victory over BOFD in week one. Losing Javon Walker for the season depletes an already suspect offensive flex unit. The ‘Wood have signed Marcus Pollard and Gary Brackett this week.

Other Games

!oohaY (1-0) at Bordeaux Botswanians (0-1)
Series: Tied 4-4

!oohaY sits in second spot in the league after a 93-82 victory over Conquest in week one. This is the only team not to alter the roster that was drafted. Carson Palmer has seemingly assumed the starting QB duties following a 16 point outing a week ago. Dominick Davis, the team’s top draft choice, struggled to a 1 point performance.

Bordeaux’s squad failed to produce in week one and changes have occurred. Byron Leftwich replaces Brett Favre at quarterback and veteran Jason Taylor is in on defense. Corey Dillon was the only Botswanian to find the end zone last week. Matt Stover was 0 for 3 on field goal attempts.

Raging Bucs (1-0) at The Token Bad Team (0-1)
Series: Tied 2-2

Chris Epplett’s Raging Bucs are the forgotten team amongst the first week winners. They slipped by a mediocre team with a mediocre score, but this is no team to trifle with. The Bucs are one of three teams to have a winning record in each of the last two years. Marc Bulger figures to be near the top of the QB lot. Randy Moss is a given. The question is whether the trio of Michael Bennett, Fred Taylor, and Ashely Lelie can produce enough to keep the team in contention.

Another week, another miserable performance by The Bad Team and owner Mike Hornyak has seen enough. Michael Vick is in at QB, while receivers Keenan McCardell and Marty Booker are also going to play. Hornyak takes every opportunity to point out that he derailed Epplett’s 2003 title hopes by sweeping the Bucs, he would like nothing better than to hang another loss on them.

Conquest (0-1) at Color Commentary (0-1)
Series: Tied 1-1

Conquest’s drive to respectability took a step forward last week. Despite the loss, Justin Sedlecky’s team put up the league’s fourth best point total. Trent Green, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Hines Ward still have room to improve. Conquest is the only team to begin the season with consecutive road games.

This is an important game for Mike Loffelman’s Color Commentary squad. Last week’s 101 point effort was second best in the league, but was a loss nonetheless. Not many teams have contended from an 0-2 hole. Willie Parker’s time as a starter appears to be limited and Priest Holmes’s value may have been overrated at draft time.

dabears (1-0) at Bent Over Front Desk (0-1)
Series: BOFD leads 6-1-1

The defending champion is at it again, proving his doubters wrong. His peers made him an underdog to the woeful Token Bad Team, but dabears emerged from the rubble of that contest victorious. The roster, which has been turned upside down in recent days, still does not scare anyone.

The BOFD squad lost their fourth straight opener, this time in very ugly fashion. The team has always recovered from slow starts and should do so again. If Culpepper’s funk is permanent, things could go south in a hurry. The team’s depth has disappeared also, nobody on the bench put up a score worth a lick either.

Shaun Markwart,
Commissioner